That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize