i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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