Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
