I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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