your parents love me but you hate me
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
