Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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