I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
