well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
