I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
