Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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