Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
