Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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