3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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