I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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