The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
