In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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