Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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