when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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