i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize