Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
