This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
where are my eyebrows?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
