normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
