is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
