Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
