She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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