is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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