Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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