Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
