My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
