We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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