We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
