Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
