Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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