As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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