what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
