dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Randomize
