please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
They have beer where we have blood.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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