wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize