i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
