I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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