She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
