You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
