Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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