so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Randomize
