I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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