you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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