lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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