Dude my mom stole all your condoms
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
