ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
it's great music for shaving your balls
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
