did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
