yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm bleeding and have questions
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
