Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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