good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
The Olympian is in my bed
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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