shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
