I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
