I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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