I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
