just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
