So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
