dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
sex in a hospital.. check
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
