And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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