remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
