I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
