what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
